People that Have To Go!

This feature feeds my fantasies in which great portions of the population disappear and always for the better.

For the introductory issue I have chosen...soccer moms.

Gods, how I hate them.

While it's admirable to take an interest in your children and to allow them their own interests, everything about soccer moms bothers me. Starting with their kids. If someone had told me that one day I'd be saying, "These kids today..." well, I wouldn't have believed them. Your children ARE NOT your friends. They are children and they need rules and boundries. Instead parents lets them do whatever they want. They have no respect for anything or anyone.

Also, you soccer moms need to let your children fail and be criticized. You keep telling them how perfect they are even when they aren't and what will they do when they get out into the real world? We now have generations of soft, lazy morons who don't know how to take responsibility for anything. Good job.

Of course, the most important prop of the soccer mom is the SUV. Do you really care about your kids when you're so obviously willing to destroy any future they may have by polluting the enviroment with vehicles that use up so much fossil fuel? No wonder your kids are selfish and think of no one other than themselves. They have learned by example.

And every soccer mom in her monstrous truck, which she really can't handle, has a cell phone in her hand. Thank you for taking my life into your hands. Why don't you just grab a cocktail and we can have the trifecta of dangerous driving situations.

The sweater sets, the personalized plates, the manicures, the total disregard for anyone outside of their own pathetic family. For these and a hundred other reasons, the soccer mom MUST GO!